Darren and Joanne- A Love Story

I found this story at GonzoRangers and thought that it was kind of funny.

Ready to chuckle and shake your head in disbelief:

6/4/2006 – Dinnertime

So Joanne meets Darren on JDate.com, and they set up a date for June 4th at the China Grill in NYC. They go out to dinner and Joanne offers to split the bill, but Darren insists on paying.

6/19/2006 – Evening

Darren leaves a message on Joanne’s home answering machine telling her that since she didn’t want a second date that she should split the cost of the dinner with him, and follows up with this email:

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From: Darren S :
Date: Jun 19, 2006 8:48 PM
Subject: Date
To: xxxxx@xxxxxx.com:
Cc:
Sorry things didn’t work out. I guess you changed your mind.

Here is my address for the $50 bucks:
XXX East XXth Street, Apt. XXX
NY

Take care,

Darren

But Wait there is more:
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6/20/2006 – 8:13 AM

Joanne goes into work on the 20th and has the following email waiting for her:

From: Darren S:
Date: Jun 20, 2006 8:13 AM
Subject: Darren
To: xxxxx@xxxxxx.com:
Cc: Darren S

Joanne,

I wanted to follow up on my email and call to you last night to ensure you received my messages for the $50.

Please acknowledge by replying to this email that you will be sending me the $50.

I hope you understand from my point of view.

Thanks,

Darren S

=———————————————————

6/20/2006 – 9:32 AM

Joanne sends the following email to Darren:

From: xxxxx@xxxxxx.com :
Date: Jun 20, 2006 9:32 AM
Subject: Re: Darren
To: Darren S:

Darren,

I just received your emails and also your message from last night. I was away andam just getting back this morning. I had every intention of calling you andmeeting to go out but your email has completely turned me off and i find it extremely tacky. I will not be sending you any money
since i offered that night to pay and you told me no that you would take care of it.

Please do not call me or send me another email i would rather not hear from you at all. And for future reference in the dating world you may want to rethink the tacky approach about asking someone for money like that perhaps that is why you haven’t met anyone or have seen them again.
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6/20/2006 – 10:03 AM
Darren leaves a voicemail on Joanne’s cellphone, telling her he was hoping she’d do the “right thing”. He threatens to issue a summons to get the $50 he wants for the meal. He actually calls her cheap in the voicemail. You can hear it in all its glory by listening to VM-01.WAV now.
6/20/2006 – 10:22 AM
After waiting an entire 19 minutes, Darren decides his argument would be better served if he forwarded Joanne a snippet from his Amex bill:

From: DS: : xxxxx@xxxxxx.com:

06/04/2006
CHINA GRILL NEW YORK NY
FOOD/BEVERAGE
FOOD-BEV 107.83
TIP 20.00
Reference No: XXXXXXXXXXXX

More Detail

127.83

Do the right thing Joanne.

Thanks,

Darren

Darren,

You are in need of some assistance. A Barbaric Yawp would be happy to prepare a script that you can use when you go out on a date. Leave me your contact information and I’ll provide you with the moves and words you need to date like a barbarian.

YAWP!